Ode to anything!
It's been about 9 months since I've "updated" anything on here and I felt like it was about time.
Where do I start really!? In the last 9 months:
In my ignorant bliss, I tripped over an exposed root in the unpaved dirt path that is life and found myself all mucked up with twitterpation. Many trips to southeastern Utah and a lot of phone time later I did what the majority of people that have been a part of my life thought I would never do and I got engaged. What should have suprised no one is that I spent just about eight thousand dollars on an engagement ring from Tiffany's and another three thousand on the band that matched it. (Side bar here - Marnee picked the ring out and thought it was just beautiful. When she asked me what I thought I just replied that she was beautiful and I didn't really care what the ring looked like.) One month and everything fell apart.
Last November I had my tail bone removed (it's called a coxygectomy). When people hear that they want to know if I had a tail. Sad to say I did not. Years ago I broke my tailbone snowboarding at Angel Fire, NM. It healed all funny like and I've had issues since but never thought anything could have been done about it. The addition of the BMW and the long road trips I was taking on it brought the tail bone issue to the forefront and I sought medical help in dealing with it. I was refered to a spine doctor who sent me to get an MRI done. When I met with the doctor again the first words out of his mouth were that he could understand why I had such a problem with it. He also said that if I weighed 100 more pounds I wouldn't have any problems. Once again, anyone who knows me gets that the only way that I am going to gain another 100 pounds is to wear a weight vest. I feel for the doctor and the staff that had to look at my hairy ass!
I moved from Casper to Minneapolis right before Thanksgiving (celebration of the suppression of the indigenous people). My partner that I worked with in Casper kept telling me that I wasn't going to do well sitting at a desk. I have worked at a desk before and I justified the move as getting me out of Wyoming and back to a place where I could return to school. I have high disdain for sitting at a desk for 8 hours a day when I could be outside for 8 hours instead. The worst day I have ever had working outside is by far better than the best day I have had at my new "desk" job.
This year has been extreemly difficult for me with everything compounding on top of everything. I'm on the fence about the "amount" that has happened. I can see why someone would say I have been through a lot but I can also see that not much has changed.
I am a Cancer. It isn't so much that I believe in the astrology thing as it is that I was told that a cloud looks like a dog so when I look at the cloud I see a dog. My friend Tori pointed something out about me that I didn't realize anyone saw and that is how sheilded I make myself. She called it "trust issues". Of course, she didn't really tell me this so much as write an email to my ex about how much of a bitch she was being too me and how it took a great deal for me to trust anyone. The email was not a good thing on anyones part but it did open my eyes to how people see me. There are things that looking back I can see now I should have done different but the past has happened and I can not undo what has been done. I've always looked at things that way. Once I've said/done something I can't really pretend that I didn't say/do it. Be mad about it and get over it or stew on it and let it eat you away. I wouldn't want to forget what I did which would cause no lesson to be learned.
I don't think this is the direction I intended for this blog but I'm going to leave it at that. If I figure out what I actually intended I may jot that down before another 9 months lapse.